Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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