I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
