just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
