her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
