i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
