dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
