my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
