I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
