Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
