I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
