Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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