Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
tell me about the eggs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
