Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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