it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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