glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
