I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish i was in the wii world.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize