Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize