it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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