i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
