When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had to cum in my sink.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
