On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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