i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
