Screwed.edu
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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