Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
