I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
