when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize