Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
