Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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