he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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