I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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