No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
