....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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