She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's the barista slut.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
