DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
