I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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