Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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