I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize