I bet he comes in French.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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