those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
