Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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