Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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