grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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