We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
