**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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