Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
where are you?
Hypothermia
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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