he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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