I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize