would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
