the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
should my penis look like a turkey
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
