He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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