he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
