why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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