I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
