You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
