I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
