Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it glows. i had to have it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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