also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The feeling are messing with the penis
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
