And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
