dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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