We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You ruined the universe
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
