wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
