Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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